What if the child refuses to go to school?
And here it is the long-awaited first of September - a solemn ruler, a new uniform, school supplies and a satchel - everything is ready to go to school and absorb new knowledge. But is your child ready for this?
Unfortunately, not all children happily perceive the news of the end of the holidays and the need to go back to school, it’s not uncommon when the opposite situation catches up with the parents - the child flatly refuses to go to school.
Sometimes this reaction occurs in first-graders, and sometimes in older children, that's just, no matter what age a moment comes, for parents it is always like a bolt from the blue. How to act in this situation correctly?
Why it happens and what to do with it?
The reasons why a child does not want to go to school can be many, and they can change, first of all, precisely from the age of the child. For example, if you are in front of a first-grader, then it is likely that the reluctance to attend an educational institution did not arise immediately, but over time, after a few days or even weeks.
Perhaps it is the fear of the new team and the teacher, the fear of not coping with the mountain of new goals and objectives that have been set for him at school. Probably, after the first refusal of your child to go to school, it is worth talking heart to heart with him, try to find out the reason. Perhaps you will not wait for any special explanations, then you will need to cheat: try to get the information you need in a playful way.
Play in school, let your child be a teacher, and you a student, attract toys to create a class. During the game, pay attention to intonation, cues, how he approves or disapproves of your efforts, and so on. During the game, the child is liberated and will be able to share his feelings much easier than in a normal conversation.
If you understand that the matter is in the child's academic progress, then naturally you will have to be patient and work with him additionally at home. Talk to the teacher about how best to do this, perhaps ask him to put less emphasis on the failures of the child, but more often praise him for his successes and achievements.
The second reason is the child’s psychological unpreparedness for school.Most likely, he simply does not understand why it is necessary at all - to attend classes, sit on them exactly and quietly, learn new duties if there are so many interesting activities around.
And the motivation in the form - "here you grow up, and you will not be able to read-write" here is unlikely to help, because for a young child all this seems so far and insignificant. What to do? Think of some nearest goals, the competitive spirit works well here.
For example, if there are two children in a family, then come up with some kind of reward for someone who brings more good grades. If the child is one, then the motivation may be the same - praise and a small reward (perhaps, invent your own system of badges, cards or stickers).
Another rather common reason is the so-called retraining of the student. It’s just that the child was developed too well and stubbornly before school, that now he is simply not interested in classes.
In such a situation, it is reasonable to choose the right school and class, perhaps with in-depth study of science. If the school is normal, then you can ask the teacher to pay a little more attention to your child, to give him more complex tasks, you may need to think about additional circles and classes.
At an older age, the problem can also be covered in banal failure: the child ceases to cope with the new load, the lessons no longer seem so easy as before, as a result, the school begins to evoke dislike, and, in time, complete disgust. Naturally, parents need to find out the cause of failure, perhaps go to school for this, talk with teachers.
Talk to the child himself - what difficulties does he have? Perhaps he strongly dislikes the teacher, unfortunately, not everyone can find positive contact. In this case, it may be worth thinking about changing the class or school, if, of course, the conflict cannot be resolved. A banal underperformance can be solved only by additional study and extracurricular activities.
How else to help your child?
In fact, this is not all the reasons why a child may refuse to go to school. In the upper classes, other interests may appear - friends, the Internet, hobbies, which, in the opinion of the pupil, are more important than boring lessons at school.
Sometimes conflicts with other students can become a serious problem - and it’s not at all necessary that they are so badperhaps your child is special, creative, or passionate about the sciences to such an extent that other guys for him seem boring and banal. How to behave in such and many other situations?
Of course, nothing should be allowed to take its course, in any case, your child needs your help and extra attention. Perhaps if you did not get a trusting contact between you and the child, you should contact a child psychologist: you can discover something that you could never have thought of before.
There is even such a thing as school neurosis, which can be overcome, without unnecessary losses, only with the help of consultations and training with specialists.
Another option - to think about home schooling, which, in recent times, is gaining momentum in popularity. In this case, teachers will go to your home from school, some items and certification may have to be taken in class.
Many parents believe that home schooling is the isolation of a child from society. But who is stopping you in the free time to write it in circles and sections, where he will receive the necessary portion of communication? Again, walks in the courtyard, various studios of interest and visiting the school to pass tests.In addition, with home schooling you can always transfer to a regular system.
You may be surprised, but children, like adults, sometimes get tired of the routine, communication with the same people, which sometimes strongly affects their mood and development. Therefore, more often communicate with your child, listen carefully and try to understand what he wants to convey to you, sometimes the truth is on the surface.