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I love the first person, I just thought that it would be possible to break up completely, build a new life, but this did not work out. He knows that I had a boyfriend, but he thinks that we didn’t sleep (I was only 19), but we had it all, so I’m ashamed in front of him, if he finds out, he will most likely reject , because he definitely didn’t have anyone in the intimate plan during these 4 months (he is 25).
As for the second, you wrote about free sex. We could easily manage without it, just being close was easy and comfortable for both (not only from my words and conjectures, but also from his). There, his ex was just confused, he is her first love and it is difficult for her to forget him, although they broke up 2 years ago almost.
Every day the second person I let go more and more, as I managed to get attached, and with the first we are planning a wedding, he has long wanted a child. Here in 20-yes, I am ready to give birth, I did not have to, too early, the experience with children is great, I even work as a nanny. So thank you for your advice, I hope that in the near future I will feel calm in my heart.
If you have decided and just feel that the decision is correct, act! The main thing is to be sure that at this stage of your life you have made the right decision. This faith will allow in the future to avoid situations where you, because of a weak quarrel, will blame yourself (anything can happen).