How to understand pity
A person who pities the unfortunate who has fallen into a difficult situation, a friend, is considered kind and generous. The object of pity feels support, and together they begin to lament the evil fate, without trying to change anything. Pity in some cases is a completely useless emotion, because of it the mood deteriorates in people who really want to help a person. No less dangerous anda pityto myself.
A person begins to blame others for his failures and circumstances, to feel sorry for himself without thinking about his own fault. To find a solution to the problem and correct the situation, we need positive emotions. Pity is a negative feeling, because it prevents a person from concentrating and changing something.
Moreover, such a reaction from the people around him greatly humiliates a person. Almost no one wants to calla pitytheir actions, behavior or conversation.
Weak individuals who want to shift the solution of their problems onto other people's shoulders are constantly complaining to more successful friends and relatives.For such peoplea pity- this is a reason to curse the unhappy fate or other people.
It is much easier to feel sorry for someone than to actually help him. In order not to aggravate the already depressed mood of a person, one should not regret, but sympathize. These are, at first glance, synonymous, but in fact, these feelings are different.
A person who sympathizes with someone else’s grief does not experience passive pity, but understands his interlocutor and is ready to help him or suggest a plan for getting out of a difficult situation. A good friend will not give in to complaints, but will try to calm the person and he will also remain calm.
thereforea pitycan't come from a really close person. Close people will not waste time on fruitless emotions. Simple acquaintances or friends, on the contrary, will feel sorry for the person, secretly rejoicing that this trouble did not happen to them.
The worst form of this feeling isa pityto myself. If a person himself does not want to admit his mistakes, no one will help him.