How much love really lives?
To such a unique feeling as love, they were treated differently at all times: it was extolled to the skies, praised and idolized, and sometimes cursed and considered a real plague, depriving the person of will. Time goes on, but humanity could not answer the question of what true love is and how long it can exist between two people.
These thoughts are plagued by ordinary people who cannot deal with their feelings; scientists, writers and even doctors are asking these same questions. Many theories and assumptions have been put forward, but still, how are things really?
How much does true love live? Many of you, for sure, will come to mind the name of the popular novel by Frederik Begbeder "Love lives three years," in which the author in a pronounced sarcastic manner discusses the time of the existence of this feeling.
Interestingly, many scientists and psychologists agree with the author's opinion, putting forward hypotheses that love, no matter how strong it may be, can last up to a maximum of 3 years.What follows this, you ask, because many couples meet and live much more than the term put forward by scientists?
And then comes the usual habit, affection, commitment, in general, anything, but not a bright and passionate feeling of love. There is even such a hypothesis that love is nothing more than a mental disorder, a disease that can be cured or simply wait for the expiration of the notorious 2-3 years.
Are you ready to agree with such an opinion, or did scientists and psychologists hurry with such sad conclusions? Is it possible to save love for a longer period or all of us, whether we like it or not, are obliged to submit to this strange property of human essence?
How does love originate and live?
In order to at least understand this complicated case, we decided to recall how this deep feeling between a man and a woman originated. And the whole process is quite simple: two people meet each other, communicate, and sometimes do not even communicate, and if a so-called “spark” pierces between them, then, most likely, people enter into a relationship.
By the way, many people like to believe that these first, the brightest and passionate feelings are love.But psychologists, and common sense, suggest that this is not so: it is impossible to love a person whom you do not know at all. Your new condition is love - a beautiful and tender feeling that can really be compared with a slight mental disorder.
During this period, the person in love is not himself, he always wants to be close to the object of his adoration, his feelings are confused, and all emotions and thoughts are concentrated only on her (or him). It is this feeling that is often sung in poems and songs, all the romantics of the world dream of it, though not everyone thinks that such an all-consuming feeling cannot last too long, and usually ends in a few months.
During this period, lovers do not see any flaws in each other, spending days and nights long, they begin to recognize each other gradually, entering the next phase of knowledge.
Now lovers can not be called "blind", the feelings become less vivid, but still quivering and more meaningful. It is this stage that becomes the first turning point in the relationship, especially if after removing the masks, the former lovers realize that there is nothing in common between them.
The first signs of growing love into real love are those feelings in which the former passion and obsession gradually replace tenderness, trust and warmth.
At this stage, people learn to look for compromises, there is a “lapping”, during which they decide whether these relations can develop into something bigger and more durable. Usually this stage ends in 2-3 years of relations, precisely when, according to the assertion of many psychologists, love leaves.
In fact, only those people who were able to go through all the problems and difficulties, without parting at the previous stages, managed to preserve the thrill of feelings, tenderness and trust, and finally get to know true love. Usually these people have long united common goals and aspirations, they know why they together and all the most terrible tests of the time have long ago passed, usually they create the strongest families.
But, of course, this question is individual and does not apply to everyone without exception. True love cannot be called an instantaneous feeling, a spark, it is a long-term result of the hard work of both partners, who still managed to build strong relationships based on respect, mutual trust and affection.
So how long does love live?
Who can answer this question? Perhaps, it is simply impossible to calculate this magnificent feeling, but it’s very necessary to maintain and rebuild a brick by brick. You can be happy and for 20 years of marriage, have passion and excitement before the appearance of a loved one, even many years after the dead Waltz of Mendelssohn, and you can be disappointed in just a few months of relationships, and this, first of all, will depend on the lovers themselves.
Problems and difficulties are in all respects, without the ability to overcome them and resolve, you can hardly ever become an absolutely happy person. Perhaps, as soon as you meet that person, you need a person, you can carry your love through your life.